I blame myself

The words coming out of your mouth articulate love

but your actions say so much more, squeezing the breath from me like a rigid glove.

There is so much silence and secrecy now between us, deafening

and so now is your voice after our disputes, my eyes threatening

Over and over and over again you say you’re sorry and that you will try

tomorrow is a fresh day, it and you will be different, tears in your eyes

but what do you propose we do about today?

You call me your world then walk away.

back to the place where I don’t exist

and I can feel my heart, tired and pained, harden and though I try to resist

I’m tired of feeling like a nagging, controlling, loveless, bitch

When will you show me how you feel, express your love, but not with your voice, in pitch

All I want is for you to touch me like before,

not say sorry, shrug and turn for the door.

You’ve said so many times that you love me and you will change

but we’ve walked this road before and I know the truth, your emotional range

all that comes out of your mouth are lies

but you have been through so much in your life, so my sorrow I put away, my feelings I deny

and as always at the end of the night

I blame myself, not you, for this fight.

 

 

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